View all 4 comments. May 23, Katy rated it it was amazing Shelves: buddhism , first-reads. Sharon Salzberg has written another beautiful book. Real Love isn't about romantic love, but rather about meeting the world with love. It's a radical concept. Just like anger isn't personal, neither is love. We tend to focus our love on a romantic partner or family, but this book broadens our notions of what real love is. In order to do that, Salzberg explores all the ways in which our habits of mind block us.
Starting with stories we tell ourselves and working with self-criticism, each chapter Sharon Salzberg has written another beautiful book. Starting with stories we tell ourselves and working with self-criticism, each chapter explores a dilemma in one of Salzberg's circle of friends and students' lives. The chapters conclude with practices and exercises that can develop new habits.
The book is clear and helpful. It's also detailed and comprehensive. I'm not a big fan of self-help books, especially ones that rely on anecdotes about "my student Samantha," but it works here. I actually know some of these people, so they aren't entirely fabricated. It's hard to imagine readers faithfully working their way through every exercise, but a reading group could. And an individual could pick and choose what calls to them.
The Science of Meditation - Mindful
This is a great book for beginners, and a good book for everyone else. Definitely worth reading. View 2 comments. I love Sharon Salzberg - she is my go-to for guided meditations, gentle wisdom and all-round loveliness. This worked as an audiobook, in as much as I enjoyed the gentle lull of her voice.
However, for full absorption, I think I would have needed a print copy. Jun 10, Victoria rated it it was amazing Shelves: non-fiction , mustreadsinthislifetime , theologyandreligion , pastoralcare , yoga. Life changing. Just read it! A treasury of compassionate wisdom and transformative practices With a voice like a wise and compassionate aunt we all wish we had, Salzberg conveys principles of lovingkindness, mindfulness and deep connection through stories and simple exercises.
This is not just one of the foun A treasury of compassionate wisdom and transformative practices With a voice like a wise and compassionate aunt we all wish we had, Salzberg conveys principles of lovingkindness, mindfulness and deep connection through stories and simple exercises.
Brian Gladsden - Country President and Managing Director Novartis Australia and New Zealand.
This is not just one of the foundations of Buddhist psychology but also of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - i. The exercises are not just sterling but also easy to implement, e. I felt their effects immediately and intend to incorporate some into my daily routine, such as the one to extend love to neutral passersby. And finally there's the final five pages in which she summarizes the whole book - the most concentrated wallop of wisdom to hit my face in a long time.
If you feel like you could use more love in your life, here's the recipe book. May 17, Angela Natividad rated it really liked it. I think I knew this book made an impact on me when, one day, I overworked, ate too little and came home feeling like garbage. Instead of being self-recriminating, I was instead filled with sorrow and remorse. I actually apologized to myself and felt it was critical that my body not take this day to mean I did not love it.
Jan 02, Tom rated it really liked it. As with the practice of metta, in cultivating real love as a way of being, we move in a continuously expanding direction — we begin by practicing real love with ourselves, then we incorporate it into our relationships with the significant others in our life, and then finally we extend our efforts so as to include real love in our dealings with every single person we encounter. This three-step process gives the book its three-part structure.
Much of what Salzberg shares with us here is deeply rooted in the teachings of Buddhism, especially in the profound realization of the impermanent nature of all things. Once again, Salzberg grounds these chapters in foundational Buddhist principles, in particular those of mindfulness and compassion.
Though the energy of anger might lead us to action, it can be so interlaced with fear and tunnel vision that we recklessly lash out. As an aid in developing such habits, Salzberg concludes each chapter with a number of suggested exercises — some of them directly involving Buddhist meditation practices such as, not surprisingly, variations on metta , while others have no particular connection to Buddhism, but are simply pragmatic ways to enhance self-discovery and self-awareness.
Readers can pick and choose which of these exercises will be of most benefit to them. Treasure it. A well written book that can provide a lot of assistance in finding and maintaining relationships. I am glad that I won a copy of this book in a Goodreads giveaway. Jun 18, Larry James rated it it was amazing. Real Love approaches the subject of love in all aspects of life. We can all use more love in our life Apr 10, Susan Walker rated it really liked it.
This book tells what its like to love and be loved. I liked that the book that there are all types of love. Feb 08, April rated it really liked it. This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
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One of the first books in years that I've read about mindfulness and meditation. And the first Sharon Salzberg book I've read, and the first time I've heard about her. I think I read a book back in about Zen meditation.
The Science of Meditation
I did some of the exercises and will come back to a few others. I learned the phrases to use for lovingkindness meditations, which a One of the first books in years that I've read about mindfulness and meditation. I learned the phrases to use for lovingkindness meditations, which are, "May I be safe. May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I live with ease. There was a weird phrasing in a quote by someone about how all people are conditioned to stereotypes and unconscious expectations, not just white people, on pg.
It is a state where we allow ourselves to be seen clearly by ourselves and by others, and in turn, we offer clear seeing to the world around us. It is a love that heals. Feeling incomplete inside ourselves, we search for others to complete us. But the equation doesn't work that way: we can't gain from others what we're unable to give ourselves. When we start to pay attention, we see that we're challenged daily to act lovingly on our own behalf. Simple gestures of respect--care of the body, rest for the mind, and beauty for the soul in the form of music and art or nature--are all ways of showing ourselves love.
Really, all of our actions--from how we respond when we can't ft into our favorite pair of jeans to the choice of foods we eat--can signify self-love or self-sabotage. So can the way we react when a stranger cuts us off in line, a friend does something hurtful, or we get an unwelcome medical diagnosis. All of us have made mistakes, and some of those mistakes were consequential, but you can find a way to relate to them with kindness. No matter what troubles have befallen you or what difficulties you have caused yourself or others, with love for yourself you can change, grow, make amends, and learn.
Real love is not about letting yourself off the hook. Real love does not encourage you to ignore your problems or deny your mistakes and imperfections. You see them clearly and still opt to love. But when we open our hearts to the breadth of our experiences, we learn to tune into our needs, unique perceptions, thoughts, and feelings in the present moment, without being trapped by judgments based on the expectations of others. That is how we eventually sense our own worthiness. It arises from holding all that we know and want and fear and feel in a space of awareness and self-compassion.
If we reject or resent our feelings, we won't have access to that kind of intimacy and integration. And if we define ourselves by each of the ever-changing feelings that cascade through us, how will we ever feel at home in our own bodies and minds? When a negative or thorny feeling comes up, we pause, remember the four steps cued by the letters, and begin to pay attention in a new way.
It is impossible to deal with an emotion--to be resilient in the face of difficulty--unless we acknowledge that we're experiencing it. So the first step is simply to notice what is coming up. You don't try to push away or ignore your discomfort. Instead, you look more closely. Oh , you might say to yourself, this feels like anger.
Welcome to Mind The Gap
Then this might be followed quickly by another thought: And I notice I am judging myself for being angry. The second step is an extension of the first--you accept the feeling and allow it to be there. Put another way, you give yourself permission to feel it. Rather than trying to dismiss anger and self-judgment as 'bad' or 'wrong,' simply rename them as 'painful. You don't take hold of your anger and fixate on it nor do you treat it as an enemy to be suppressed.
It can simply be. Now you begin to ask questions and explore your emotions with a sense of openness and curiosity. This feels quite different from when we are fueled by obsessiveness or by a desire for answers or blame.
When we're caught up in a reaction, it's easy to fixate on the trigger and say to ourselves, 'I'm so mad at so-and-so that I'm going to tell everyone what he did and destroy him! There is so much freedom in allowing ourselves to cultivate curiosity and move closer to a feeling, rather than away from it. We might explore how the feeling manifests itself in our bodies and also look at what the feeling contains. Many strong emotions are actually intricate tapestries woven of various strands. Anger, for example, commonly includes moments of sadness, helplessness, and fear.
As we get closer to it, an uncomfortable emotion becomes less opaque and solid. We focus less on labeling the discomfort and more on gaining insight. Again, we do not wallow, nor do we repress. Remember that progress doesn't mean that the negative emotions don't come up. It's that instead of feeling hard as steel, they become gauzy, transparent, and available for investigation. In the final step of RAIN, we consciously avoid being defined by identified with a particular feeling, even as we may engage with it.
Feeling angry with a particular person, in a particular conversation, about a particular situation is very different from telling yourself 'I am an angry person and always will be. This is a state of suffering. The inner critic may become a kind of companion in our suffering and isolation. As long as we judge ourselves harshly, it can feel as if we're making progress against our many flaws. But in reality, we're only reinforcing our sense of unworthiness. In other words, we'll be lovable only when we get that promotion, master public speaking, drop fifteen pounds, and never lose our temper, exhibit fear, or cry in front of our children.
Often when we believe we are practicing self-control or self-discipline, we're actually confining ourselves inside an overly analytical, self-conscious mental chamber. This precludes us from giving and receiving love both from others and ourselves. We become focused on avoiding failure, and love for the self cannot be a refuge because it has become too conditional, too dependent on performance. Rather than a list of tricks, this book is an all-encompassing approach, allowing me to learn the barricades of misunderstanding with simple strategies to use immediately in my personal and professional life.
Everything is dependent on teams, which in turn is a function of alignment, communications, trust, and accountability. This book highlights what often sidelines teams and gives leaders a look into what it takes to build high-performing teams, not just teams of high-performing individuals. The customer is always right, no matter what. This book explains why the supplier of a good or a service needs to understand that they are exposing their brand to the customer, and the customer will make the brand what they want it to be, so let them. The book has great case studies outlining the success of letting the consumer evolve your brand and catering your marketing communications to what the consumer believes your brand is.
A must-read for marketing professionals. These are tales from the past Both are harrowing reads based on actual events, where individuals and teams were thrust into stressful situations and pushed beyond controls and limits. These reads will guide you to self-reflect on your life journey. Its applications to dynamic teams, growing companies, or struggling entrepreneurs is invaluable. It underscores the importance of exploring, doing, stumbling, and learning. In my experience, most great outcomes include many of those activities. It explains that, as leaders of an organization, our only responsibility is to support be the servant to everyone else in the organization by empowering others to lead.
Being a servant leader creates an opportunity for individuals to reach their peak potential within your organization. The theory makes sense to me--it's the same way we treat customers, so why not our employees? Yet, if you look at the way humans are designed to learn, we learn by making mistakes. We learn to walk by falling down. If we never fell down, we would never walk. It's about a supposed mythical, forgotten city in the Honduran jungle that is finally rediscovered via imaging technology.
It's a great choice for those who like to take a break from the day to escape into a book, and a good reminder of how one person's unrelenting determination can accomplish the unthinkable, including solving a centuries-old mystery and locating a lost city. Underhill and his teams literally cracked open the minds of consumers and determined why and how all of us react the way we do when we buy: how do we perceive wait time, what actually makes retail signage effective, the importance of sightlines, and how often customers do things they never intended to do.
A book about becoming who you are by learning who you are. About always having an apprentice mindset no matter what level you are at in your career--just starting out or CEO. Finding your passion and a guidebook for becoming the best at what it is you are passionate about.
Once you think you've mastered it, break everything and challenge what you know by being the eternal beginner. He was a remarkable neurologist, psychiatrist, and author. Despite facing some of the worst atrocities recorded in history, he only had love in his heart. Specifically, Frankl's quote: "In the space between stimulus and response we have the power to choose.
My career has been defined by my choices. In other words, never become complacent or happy with the status quo. As an expert in teamwork, leadership, and emotional intelligence, Mike delivers keynotes and seminars around the world that empower people, leaders, and teams to engage in their work, collaborate, and perform at… Read more. Lisa is an entrepreneur who has accomplished more in the last 5 years than most people do in a lifetime. From creating Sparked, an innovative game company, to building an orphanage and school in Haiti, leading international humanitarian retreats to running a wish-granting music foundation and most recently launching Collective Hearts, her mission is to ignite and amplify more inspiration, love and generosity worldwide.
Ariane has a wonderful book series for children ages called Giggles and Joy. You can learn more about Ariane on her website www. Join Michelle as she interviews Susan Stiffelman who shares supportive lessons from her upcoming online conference. Listen in to the podcast then register for the free conference here. The Mindful Parenting in a Messy World podcast with Michelle Gale is for parents who long to be meaningfully connected to themselves and their children, even as the demands and complexities of modern life are accelerated.
What kind of practices support another way of holding the stress and worry in our lives? This week, join Michelle and Andrew as they explore the tricky business of our relationship to technology and what it all means for our kids growing up in the information age. Andrew is a San Francisco-based conscious entrepreneur who envisions a world in which technology supports humans being. A digital native who struggled with tech addiction for over a decade, he is currently working on Siempo to give people their lives back.
A touchy subject brought to you with a little levity. Tami Astorino, M. Tami is a national speaker, yoga instructor, educator and plant nutrition enthusiast who facilitates classes and retreat experiences to empower women. She combines her 25 years of experience in the fields of counseling psychology and fitness to create opportunities for people to grow and experience more joy. Her organization, Rise Gatherings,… Read more. Michelle recorded the first version of this podcast title early in and now has a brand new edition for ! Listen in…. At the age of thirty-nine, Sarah Kowalski heard her biological clock ticking, loudly.
A single woman harboring a deep ambivalence about motherhood, Kowalski needed to decide once and for all: Did she want a baby or not? More importantly, with no partner on the horizon, did she want to have a baby alone? She had originally started her career as a technologist, most recently working for Facebook where she co-created both Facebook pages and the Like button, the very features that later helped her comics… Read more.
Michelle interviews the inspiring Lynn Johnson. Dayna is the mother to three totally awesome superkids who inspire her every… Read more. During our conversation she also mentioned a podcast she recorded with her son Ryan and you can listen to that here. First and foremost a parent, Annmarie has spent the past 18 years perfecting the art of parenting imperfectly in balance with the rest of her life.
Annmarie believes that the most valuable tool we have is presence. She guides parents, educators, and children to cultivate presence and unconditional love in all areas of their lives. She lives in Chicago with her partner and their blended family of five children. You can learn more about Annmarie at… Read more. Parents can be some of the guiltiest people on the planet! Join Mark and Michelle as they explore ways to get to know and quiet that pesky inner critic. Mark Coleman has practiced Buddhist meditation since He also leads wilderness meditation retreats from Alaska to Peru, integrating mindfulness meditation with nature.